Monday 30 June 2008

A TRAGIC ANNOUNCEMENT

I am going to be leaving my job in a week! No I did not punch the owner in the face; it is actually sort of my decision to go. I do genuinely enjoy the job, crazy shit happens to keep it fresh, and despite it being minimum wage tips help to boost that up a little bit. I just can't get enough hours at the moment to make it viable to work there alone, which leaves me with two choices:

  1. Get a second job
  2. Get a new job
I opted for option 2, which I'm coupling with the regression of moving back in with my parents for a couple of months before I move in with my girlfriend (we don't get our place 'til September). So, I'm gonna get some shitty job back in the shire, and the plus side is that I'm not paying rent, while the downside is that I'm moving back in with my parents, something I said I was not going to do. Sure, it's only a couple months, but still, I kind of feel like I've let myself down a bit.

Whatever, I'll get to see a few of my old college mates (the ones that are poor like me, anyway).

Sorry this isn't a funny post: there will be more funny posts to come, I have a backlog of stories and there's always my last week, in which I am sure a bunch of retarded shit will happen. And if it doesn't, I'll kickstart it. What the fuck do I care about repercussions? I'm leaving!

But yeah, I just thought I'd put this here as: a) a chance to whine a little bit, and b) a kind of pre-emptive "this blog will end in a month" thing. I'll probably start a new, more generic, blog after this one receives the kiss of death, if the thought of living without my writing has already become a terrifying concept to you.

Either that, or I'll go work for another pizza place.


NEWS FLASH

I saw Y-Fronts the other day. He wasn't actually doing anything particularly mental, unless you count pushing an empty Sainsbury's trolley (incidentally the nearest Sainsbury's is a good 10 minute car journey away) down the road, into incoming traffic.

He only did it for about a minute, though, and then he got bored and ambled off up an alley. As far as I know the alley he entered was a dead end, but I kept an eye on it for the next twenty minutes and he didn't come out. Maybe that's where he keeps his stash of pilfered electronics, and he was busy working out which order to destroy them in.

7 comments:

Mr. Gale said...

FREDO, YOU BROKE MY HEART.

YOU BROKE MY HEART!

You should start a different blog, or continue this one on in a different form, totally. You are pretty good at being funny, you know, in blog form.

In person most of the comedy comes from your "beard".

Matt said...

I have never had a beard.

Matt said...

Are you confusing me with Rasputin?

Anonymous said...

Oh man, I will be gutted to see this blog end. It's my third favourite blog, after my own, and my own again.

As Gale said, you're a damn funny writer. I'm sure whatever you write about next will be just as awesome, although it's vital that you keep checking up on Y-Fronts and Brian. I've never felt so fond of two scary weirdos whom I've never met.

Mr. Gale said...

I am confusing you with Rasputin.

I had a gay joke, about references to your girlfriend or something, it seems to have gone astray though. Mostly because I have quoted a random word and left out the actual joke, well played sir, well played.

Matt said...

In seriousness, thanks Tim, Gale, everyone else, etc. There's at least two more Brian posts coming, and the other night I accidentally attempted to evade the police.

The stockpile will not run out for a time, and hopefully by then I will have a new job where equally bizarre shit happens to me!

Coming Friday: Goat unsuccessfully escapes THE LAW.

Samuel said...

I'll be sad to see this blog die. I know that any other blog you take up will be insanely funny, but I don't know where I'm going to find something to fill the "batshit insane pizza delivery occurrences featuring homeless Luddites" niche. Another wrench in my gears...